𝑹𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔. 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆. 

I want to forget everything about you. I want to forget how it felt when I first met you, and how that feeling about you lasted. I want to forget how bad you made me feel, and how I still stayed with you for so long. I want to forget the way your hands feel in mine, I want to forget the scar on your left hand, I want to forget how your chest feels against mine, how your arms feel wrapped around me and I want to forget how it felt everytime you touched my body and how I made you think that was what I wanted. 

I want to forget that you used me because you wanted to feel wanted, you wanted to be loved. Forget how much you used me to fill a hole you were never able to fill in the first place. Forget how damaged you were and all what you needed was a person who was damaged like you. But i wasn't, I was too good for you and you knew it. I want to forget how you came back to me everytime because you felt lonely, and I was there and I took you back every single time. I want to forget that time I asked you if you lost your feelings for me over time, or if they weren't there in the first place and you lied to me and said it was the first one because you were so afraid of hurting me again. 

I want to forget how I was hoping you would understand my struggles, how depressed I felt, and I want to forget how intimate we felt even tho we never opened up to each other. I want to forget how you made out with my best friend and it didn't even bother me. I want to forget how I did the same to you before. And I want to forget that I did it again. I want to forget how I still missed you, how I still cared about you in some way and how I still thought about how sorry I was everyday even after we hadn't seen each other in months. 

I want to forget how we met again, how I made myself believe this could work out and I very much want to forget how after now almost a year I was lying in your bed again and it felt so incredibly wrong. I want to forget everytime I fell for your trap, everytime I let you play games with me. I want to forget every emotion I ever felt, and that I still am feeling towards you. I want to forget how you bring out the worst sides of me. I want to forget how much you let me hate myself. Please let me forget everything about you. 

It is a fiction full of fun